You ever run into someone, or are related to someone, that just gets on your last nerve every time they are around? Of course you do. You are human. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that the people around you change how they behave. In fact, you probably notice it more after you come to faith than before. So what can you do about it? Ignoring it is likely the best option, but that doesn’t really fit the bill does it? In today’s prayer and worship help we are going to consider some ways that believers can learn to turn the other cheek emotionally, and mentally, in fighting the battle against reacting in sin towards men and women who drive you up the wall.
Now to be sure we talked about a similar issue a couple weeks ago in these Tuesday reflections, yet I’d bet this is a problem you face every day. Whether it is that guy who cuts you off in traffic or a fellow employee at your place of business that constantly does stuff to personally attack you or passive aggressively acts towards you in a negative way. You are always going to have those kinds of people in your circle. So what’s a girl to do in this situation? This is going to sound cliché but the answer is love. Rather than internalizing the conflict or the annoyance we need to develop the ability to see past the outward trouble and understand that whatever is causing the individual to lash out in this way is part of something much deeper in their heart and life. Because when we think about the subject we are not really talking about a person who chews with their mouth open or who makes a weird clicky sound when they walk. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of advice this morning on how to deal with that, other than just eat somewhere else or make a game out of the noise. I guess you could imagine the clicks are secretly a sign that the individual is actually a robot. That would turn something disturbing into something funny, which is usually what I do in those situations. *laugh emoji*.
So how do you act in love towards this person that drives you crazy? First of all, not to reinvent the wheel or anything, but have you thought about praying for that person? It is something so obvious, yet a thing we sometimes don’t think about. To be sure I am not saying here that you break out Psalm 109 and seek the Lord’s vengeance on them. That would be rude. What I am advocating is that not only do you lift up your own soul to Christ and ask for patience, perseverance, and the like, but that you pray for this man or woman made in the image of God. You may not know what to pray for exactly. That’s ok. Your Heavenly Father knows what is going on in that individual’s life. It is an act of loving one’s neighbor as yourself to use the power that you have to go directly to the throne room of the Lord seeking intercession in that person’s life. In fact, it may actually be good to go to that someone and tell them you are praying for them…not in a “bless your heart” kind of way, but in a manner that shows genuine care and concern. That’s part and parcel of what it means to witness the power of the forgiveness of sins to others. Something we don’t often consider is that we might be that annoying person to someone else, our attitude may drive others crazy and if that is the case wouldn’t you like to know that? Even more so wouldn’t it be a blessing to hear of God’s gracious mercy that someone else loves you enough to pray for you?
Again, we shouldn’t be doing this with a condescending heart and mind. Love is neither selfish nor arrogant. Desiring the best for others does not mean molding everyone else in our own image. The purpose of prayer in this situation is to help that other individual who may not even know that they are reacting the way they are towards you or other people. Here we see one of the fruits of true faith flowering in the Christian life. We are never to return evil for evil, but are to deal with difficult people with the same grace that the Lord Jesus Christ showed to us, which moves us to the second thing on how to deal with difficult people.
We mentioned earlier that difficult people are usually difficult because something is going on to cause them to lash out in this way. Whether it be trouble at home, stress a work, or an issue related to their own spiritual life (especially if they are not a believer) there is a motivator driving the behavior. Understanding that going into it you then should be moved with kindness for that person. Think of Christ when he came upon the Gadarene Demoniac, or the crowds who were wandering around lost. In each situation our Savior was moved with compassion towards them. He knew that there was more going on than what was presenting itself in the situation. What do the disciples do when they see the crowds? Often they groan and let out a collective sigh. Much like we do when that individual is around again. The disciples probably made themselves “look busy” or pretended to be one the phone so that they didn’t have to deal with these people. Yet, what was the example set by their master? He was moved in love to minister to them with what He had to give, which was Himself, and by extension the good news of the forgiveness of sins and the peace which comes with it.
If this is true of our own experience with Jesus why would we not want to see others know that same joy and mercy? So today, or tomorrow, whenever it is that you come across that man or woman who makes you bonkers think about praying for them, think about what might be going on their life or what may be moving them to do what they do and love them as Christ has loved you.
For today’s reading here is a piece from Tabletalk that may be helpful:
https://tabletalkmagazine.com/posts/how-to-deal-with-annoying-people/
Blessings in Christ,
Rev. Benjamin Glaser
Pastor, Bethany ARP Church