Good Morning!
It’s interesting to me that out of all the commandments we cover in this part of the Catechism none makes us more uncomfortable than the 7th. Part of it is the natural private nature of the sins we need to talk about for sure. However, if the rest of the Bible is anything to go on outside of maybe coveting and stealing I am not sure there is a law from the second table that gets broken more, and in more devious ways than this one. In fact the violations of the 10th and 8th are often in service of helping a man (or a woman, don’t want to forget about Potiphar’s wife) take what he can from someone he (or she) is not married to. Here are the trio for this week:
Q. 70. Which is the Seventh Commandment?
A. The seventh commandment is, Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Q. 71. What is Required in the Seventh Commandment?
A. The seventh commandment requires the preservation of our own and our neighbor’s chastity, in heart, speech, and behavior.
Q. 72. What is Forbidden in the Seventh Commandment?
A. The seventh commandment forbids all unchaste thoughts, words, and actions.
As noted the last six commandments are all going to be in this format. What is the commandment, what does it require, and what does it forbid. Each is concerned with how we use the law of God for one another, and how we hurt one another when we break it. The Christian religion unlike any other (for a reason) is always primarily concerned not with what we can get out of something, or someone, but what we can do for that other in light of what the Lord has done for us in His Son. This outward-looking focus is what brings joy to the believer and in many ways the 7th Commandment shows this more than any other. It also exposes (no pun intended) our sinful heart and our duplicitous ways like no other commandment does.
Think about what it says, Don’t Commit Adultery. Well, what is that? In Ezekiel 16 adultery is compared to idolatry, and idolatry is giving to an idol what properly belongs to God. In other words granting your love and devotion to someone, or something, that has no right to it. Pouring your time and energy into one person necessarily means you are not doing that for the one you are covenantally bound to give it to. I’ve done enough counseling with couples to know that this is almost always the source of trouble within the bounds of matrimony. Football, cars, hunting, porn, shopping, girl time, work, other men/women, whatever it is, it becomes more vital to the self-identity of the person than their wife or husband. According to Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5 you are supposed to find your wholeness in the groom or bride you are espoused to. As can be expected on a positive note when you are taking the time necessary to die to self and live for the other person the more it not only becomes a natural part of your daily routine, but as with any other part of the law of God seeking to obey in Christ becomes its own reward. We don’t do things for our spouse because we think we might gain materially (or sexually) from it, but because we are devoted to the other’s happiness and self-worth. Remember the 1st Commandment? Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Gods Before Me, apply that to this question and it would read Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Person, Place, or Thing Before My Significant Other. There is a sense in which each of the statutes found in the second table can all be mixed together. Giving your love to another is stealing love due to your husband or wife. Lusting after another man or woman is coveting, as it literally notes in that commandment, “…thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife.”.
While we often, rightly, think of adultery in the context of marriage there is more to keeping it than just our marital state. It’s not as if single people are exempt from the 7th any more than poor people are from the 8th. Some of the most greedy and money hungry people that I know are in the throes of extreme poverty (and it has a lot to do with why they stay there), and likewise some of the biggest violators of this article of the word of God have no spouse. While there are many reasons why some folks are not married, given the gift of chastity for an example, a reason many men remain unmarried today (which affects young ladies) is that their lack of cultivating a proper respect for women rising out of the plague of pornography. There is an old saying that goes “why buy the cow if the milk is free”, and if men think, and it is primarily men, though use of these wicked materials is gaining among young women, that females are just objects for pleasure than it makes sense why they are uninterested in seeking companionship and to serve in the way Godly men are called to in the Scriptures. A common lament I hear from young Christian ladies is of the very small supply of young men who understand their responsibilities before the Lord. That is to the shame of the Church, and fathers, to be sure, which gets into one of the requirements found in Q. 71. The people of God are to be preparing each other to preserve and watch over one another’s chastity. This includes guiding our young people into understanding the proper use of their, and other’s, bodies.
We need not be afraid of having these conversations. It shouldn’t be any more difficult to talk about sex and related matters than it is about balancing our checkbook. While there is certainly a sensitivity we need to have based on wisdom and other factors our unwillingness to deal with these things just makes it worse.
Here is a little bit to read to expand our thoughts on the issue:
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sex-education-how-to-start-early/
Blessings in Christ,
Rev. Benjamin Glaser
Pastor, Bethany ARP Church