I think all of us live with a regular diet of frustration. Whether we are bothered by the lack of thoughtfulness, care, or whatever either in ourself, or in friends and family it seems to be one of those things that is always with us. You can almost imagine what it would be like if everyone just kind of did what you wanted them to. Life would be so smooth, so easy. And there is some obvious truth to that. However, what is the likelihood while you are on this planet in the time before the second coming of Christ that you will experience a frustration-less day? Not high. So if this is going to be our reality we need to think through some steps on how to deal with it. In today’s worship and prayer help we will look into this and find some answers.
What causes frustration? As noted above it usually involves expectations not met. Mom doesn’t seem to understand what is causing daughter to act in the way she is. The refrain, “We didn’t raise her like that” most assuredly is bumping through her brain. Daughter responds, maybe unknowingly, “Doesn’t mom understand what I am going through? She just wants to see things from her perspective, not mine.” Now, those of you with daughters, and with moms, have been on both sides of that conversation. Similar things could be said about dad’s and son’s. You know that feeling when there seems to be no breakthrough, no listening going on. Just exasperation welling up into anger. It causes your body to shake and there might even be a verbal growl to cap it. I know for myself when I get like that I usually need to go walk it off. I get up and go make a lap around the tennis court. My verbal communication in that scenario is very much Daffy Duck mumbling to himself. To be honest while that may make me feel better is that actually a very helpful way to deal with the trouble in this situation? Not likely. Frustration which is not dealt with in the moment is likely to fester and lead to more trouble later on. This is the kind of thing Paul has in mind when he lays out the command in Ephesians 6:24. He writes, “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”
Now “wrath” seems like such an indignant word. When we hear it our minds usually go to some good ole Old Testament judgment type stuff. But what is it actually pointing to? In other translations the word used there is normally “anger”. Though I think “wrath” actually gets more to the feeling we have in the kind of situations we are thinking about. If you get to a point where tears are welling up and words themselves are hard to come by I think we would testify wrath is definitely a better definition for what we are going through in that instant. So why would the Apostle tell us not to let the sun go down on that level of frustration? Well, first of all Paul there is quoting from Psalm 4. In other words he is using a quotation from David to help us go back and look at how someone who dealt with a lot of exasperating situations (I mean how many times has someone tried to throw a spear at you?) reacted in order that we might learn a bit about how we can move forward in similar straights.
David says, “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.” Here we see a couple things that can help us deal with frustrating stuff in our lives. First of all, notice how David is not engaging the other person. He is taking this trial to the LORD. “Meditate within your heart” means to consider for a moment the reality of what is going on. Could it be the case that you are actually the one in the wrong? It takes a big man to admit that, but taking time to quietly think through the situation, to “be still”, and let the Holy Spirit examine things can go a long way in helping us to come to terms with what is causing us to be angry. Now, lets say that you are not the aggressor, that you are actually like David in this psalm, “How long, O you sons of men, Will you turn my glory to shame? How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood?” A lot of people had wronged David. Whether it was Saul or his own son Absalom there was much fake news going around Israel about him. But go back to the verse I quoted above how does David deal with this in this psalm? It is not a quiet stiff upper lip kind of response. He is not in this psalm allowing himself to be run over by those who seek his harm, however, he does not respond in kind to that which has been done to him. Sometimes it is better to be wronged, and to allow someone to be wrong, than let anger destroy and divide relationships. He instead “offers the sacrifices of righteousness” and places his “trust in the LORD”. Once David is done considering the whole picture he remembers that, “You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased. I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
See again how David lays his head on the pillow and does not allow the sun to set on his wrath. When he sits down and ponders the bigger picture he is reminded of the mercy which God has shown to him, and he also remembers that vengeance belongs to the Lord. The truth will come out in God’s time and all things will be made clear. This is really the “secret” to dealing with frustration, because often when we step back and give time to think about what matters and our place in the Heavenly Kingdom the trivial kinds of things which usually mark out our moments of annoyance pale in comparison to the grace shown to us by a Father who has had much forbearance with us in our own sin.
So don’t let he sun go down on your anger, find peace in the dwelling place of the Almighty, and let God take care of it in His way and in His time. Ultimately be reconciled to those who cause this within you, for both of you bear the image of God and love and grace cover a multitude of sins.
For today’s reading here is a short devotional from Ligonier:
https://www.ligonier.org/learn/devotionals/dealing-anger/
Blessings in Christ,
Rev. Benjamin Glaser